Isn't it amazing when your dreams give you an exact message?

Last week mine gave me a reminder -- and it was one I knew I had to share with you.

So much so that I literally got out of bed and immediately wrote down almost all of this email!

In the dream, I was at a cabin in the summer and a big group of us was split into two teams to do a fun outdoor Olympics competition.

For the past few months, I've been in major experimentation mode.

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, but I have a feeling that I need a refresh.

I love my life and my work. I live in a great place. I don’t see any MAJOR changes on the horizon.

But a refresh?

Taking steps to create an updated version of me?

Shedding some of the old to make room for the new?

That sounds exactly right.

Before last Thursday, I’d only used a drill once.

It happened ten years ago. The hole ended up bigger than anticipated and while it wasn’t disastrous, it didn’t make me particularly confident in my ability to use a drill again.

I avoided the drill for a decade…and then it came up again.

I was early in my corporate journey when I got the some of the best advice of my career.

A senior leader I was working with turned to me and said: "Heather, you have to know the rules of the game, but you don't have to play by them."

Which leads me to ask you....what rules of the game have you been handed that you don't have to play by?

What have you been told, directly or indirectly, about what makes you successful at work that you don't want to follow? Or maybe isn't even remotely true?

A few weeks ago I was hit with a twinge of hustling. I hadn't felt that hustling feeling in a LONG time. I've worked hard, but hustling feels completely different for me.

As a business owner, hustling has an undercurrent of urgency, proving, and even a bit of desperation.

In my corporate career, hustling felt more like being overwhelmed with the number of things I had to do - and feeling like I couldn't let any of it go.

Is it hard to advocate for yourself, just for you? If so, know this - You are allowed to advocate for yourself in the same way you advocate for others.

Let me be clear - advocating for others is good!

But you also get to advocate for yourself, just on behalf of you. For your salary, your time, your energy - anything.

Can you set boundaries and still be seen as a team player and high performer? YES.

In fact, I've seen time and time again that if you set and communicate boundaries clearly, people are most often fine with it.

Even more interesting....I've seen MANY example of people being seen as a HIGHER performer after they set boundaries because they have the time and energy to focus on what's most important - and those are the things that often get recognized and rewarded!

How can you respond when you get interrupted? Take it back!

Women are 2-3 times as likely to get interrupted and that is FRUSTRATING - or maybe a few steps past frustrating to angering.

Watch the video for two phrases I've found to be particularly helpful to redirect the conversation back to what you were saying so you can get heard!

A few weeks ago I was challenged by some successful speakers to look at how I was messaging my business - and I realized I reacted COMPLETELY differently to their feedback than I would have in the past.

When I first started my business (and for most of my corporate career as well), I took every single piece of feedback as verbatim truth, especially when it came from leaders and people I viewed as "experts."

This was the overachiever in me. Be better! Do it all! And do it all NOW!

A LOT happened in my work world this fall. Grounded Wildness launched in October, which was awesome -- and also SO MANY details and to-do's to execute. By the time Thanksgiving came around, I was exhausted.

I vowed to reset my boundaries, lay off checking work email at night and on the weekends, and get back to my normal routine. I also planned to take a full five days off over Thanksgiving.

And then I didn't do any of it.

Last week I saw a post from a LinkedIn connection where she expressed that it had been a both challenging year AND she felt gratitude. I sensed the truth her emotions as I read the post. She wasn't putting on a fake gratitude smile. She really was grateful - and it had been a hard year. Her post struck me as so many truths I've been feeling lately. Life is rarely black and white, all or nothing. Instead, it is a both/and.

I'll admit - I've been holding out on this one.

There's one, big, huge message I want every single person to know. And not just know, but truly deeply BELIEVE to the core of your being.

I also feel like it's the climax moment in Grounded Wildness and I didn't want to give it way before you read the book. I've hinted around it several times, but I was afraid you might not buy the book if I told you this message directly.

Then I decided I wanted you to hear this even if you never read Grounded Wildness.

So often when we talk about permission to feel your feelings, the automatic assumption is that you're feeling HARD feelings. And I DO want you to feel ALL of those emotions - but that’s not what I want to talk about today. Today, I want to talk about giving yourself permission for JOY. And wonder, serenity, awe, delight, pleasure, elation, jubilance, revelry, tranquility, and whatever other fun-loving happy emotion you're experiencing!

A few days ago, one of my good friends texted me a picture of her 6-year-old wearing a green striped tank top, ruffled skirt, and knee-high rainbow socks with this message: “I hope she never loses her sense of style and confidence.” But we do, don't we? At some point, you go from a kid who dresses how she likes, struts her stuff, and never questions herself to someone who... performs.

Three weeks ago I bought a house. I was SO excited when the offer was accepted. Everything in my body and intuition told me this was the right decision. Even with all this knowing and excitement, there were still MANY moments I completely freaked out. Here’s what I did to reconnect to the truth and calm my boy and mind.

It's that time of year again. When the new year's resolutioning kicks into high gear, you start seeing nonstop ads for gyms and weight-loss solutions, and you feel the pressure (and sometimes real desire!) to improve every aspect of your life.

There's nothing innately wrong with using the energy of the new year to make changes. I've spent many hours over the past few weeks both reflecting on 2022 and visioning for 2023 - and I'm excited to move towards that vision and do some things differently this coming year.

I also know it can be a lot. The motivation to change can turn into the weight to change which can morph into the inner critic punishing you for NOT doing the change perfectly pretty darn quickly.

I recently presented my keynote at a large conference for women in Engineering. I opened my keynote — Discover Your Authentic Voice - And How To Use It To Create Change — with a story about the feedback I received in my corporate career that I was too direct. Because of that feedback, I started to hold back the bold, fiery side of me. I questioned my voice and began to speak more cautiously. Not thoughtfully, cautiously.Which begs the question -- should I have ever listened to that feedback in the first place?!?

There will be people who judge what you do with your life, whether that's something as small as saying no to a dinner party invite or as big as leaving your job to take risk on something completely different.

So what if you just let that go and gave yourself permission to be judged by them?

What if you listened to your own knowing and made decisions based on what you know in your core is right for you, instead of decisions based on the fear of what other people might think?

“How did you find the motivation to start saying no?” The answer to this one came to me immediately: I didn't want to keep dealing with the consequences of saying yes FAR too often. I didn't want to be tired the rest of my life. I didn't want to be resentful for taking on work that paid me less than I was worth. That was my initial motivation. I wanted to get rid of the consequences of over-yessing. Over time, though, the motivation started to include what I DESIRED from saying no. Because there are SO MANY benefits of saying no.

How do you know when to be persistent and stay the course - and when to make a change? In my experience, this comes down to four words: SLOW DOWN. TURN INWARD.