Finding The Motivation To Say No

We're back to answer the second awesome question I got from a speaking engagement on Creating Your Own Rules For Success a few weeks ago!

Last week, we tackled this question: How do you know when to be persistent and stay the course - and when to make a change?

If you missed it, you can find that response on HERE.

Here's the question for this week: How did you find the motivation to start saying no?

The answer to this one came to me immediately: I didn't want to keep dealing with the consequences of saying yes FAR too often.

I didn't want to be tired the rest of my life.

I didn't want to be resentful for taking on work that paid me less than I was worth.

I didn't want to dread going to the social event, networking event, work commitment, volunteer activity, or anything else that I'd said yes to, even if I had wanted to say yes when the opportunity came up, but then the day came and I was overcommitted, exhausted, and craving space -- but felt like I had to go because I'd said yes.

That was my initial motivation. I wanted to get rid of the consequences of over-yessing.

Over time, though, the motivation started to include what I DESIRED from saying no. Because there are SO MANY benefits of saying no.

I wanted to feel rested and relaxed.

I wanted creativity.

I wanted focus and flow.

I wanted to be present with my work, friends, and family.

I wanted to be able to say YES to the big things - writing my next book, speaking engagements with amazing clients, building community in Colorado.

And to the little things - a quiet evening on my patio, a telephone call with a good friend, gorgeous summer hikes in the mountains.

I wanted the space to ponder, wonder, and hear my own knowing.

All of these things required me to say no more often.

I want to be clear - I am FAR from perfect in this realm. I still catch myself in over-yessed days, weeks, and even months.

I find myself in slightly amped up "manic mode" (which I talk about in chapter 7 of my book), rushing around trying to get everything done that I said yes to. It's harder to relax. My creativity stops flowing.

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself, wondering how I got here AGAIN, but it's okay. I also know that it happens less and less, and that I catch myself faster and faster. This is progress.

That's how I started to say no. Your motivation might be totally different.

If my story doesn't resonate, but you know you need to say no more often, ask yourself why it's important to you. What are the consequences of over-yessing that you want to avoid? What will you gain by saying no and setting more boundaries?

Use your own responses as your motivation to lean into the discomfort and start saying no.

If you want some extra tools and strategies, check out My Ultimate Guide To Saying No At Work.

This free guide will show you how to renegotiate your workload, talk to your boss, decline meetings, and set boundaries between work and home so you can lower stress and have better work-life balance.