Remembering Your Wild Self

A few days ago, one of my good friends texted me a picture of her 6-year-old wearing a green striped tank top, ruffled skirt, and knee-high rainbow socks with this message:

I hope she never loses her sense of style and confidence.

But we do, don't we?

At some point, you go from a kid who dresses how she likes, struts her stuff, and never questions herself to someone who... performs.

Do you remember when you lost your wildness?

I do.

It happened in seventh grade.

In a matter of months I went from being totally confident and free to following other people's rules about how I was supposed to be, look, and show up.

In sixth grade, my favorite outfit was a bright green shirt and matching pants with a rainbow belt tied around my waist, accompanied by shoulder-length silver salamander earrings and a pair of Keds covered in multi-colored flowers. None of this was “in.” I didn’t care.

In seventh grade, I asked for Girbaud jeans for Christmas, THE brand of 1992. They were boring and uncomfortable. I wanted them anyway.

In sixth grade, I painted giant, colorful flowers on poster boards. I didn’t worry about how they looked or if they were “good.” I just loved the act of putting paint to paper.

In seventh grade, I cowered away from art, suddenly aware that my drawings and paintings didn’t look how they were “supposed to” look.

In sixth grade, I was curious and creative; and I put myself out there in every sense of the word. I wanted to stand out. I wanted to be fully me.

In seventh grade, I started to hide my full self. I wondered if all of me was just a little bit too much. I felt like I needed to follow the rules to fit in.

In sixth grade, I was me.

In seventh grade, I started to perform.

When did that happen to you?

And are you still performing?

I promise you - that wild girl is still inside you.

She's simmering beneath the surface, wanting you to drop the act and return to yourself.

It doesn't matter how many rules you've been told to follow. It doesn't matter if you feel the weight of expectations of how a woman is "supposed" to be. It's doesn't matter if you've been told you're too much or not enough.

There's a light inside of you that cannot be extinguished. A flame that continues to glow no matter what rules are placed upon you. No matter how many times, ways, and places you’ve been told to dull your light.

Your fire keeps burning.

Grounded wildness allows that fire to burst from a flickering candle to a bonfire blaze.

It allows you to stop performing your life and start living it.

That little girl is still alive inside you. Maybe she wore knee-high rainbow socks, too. Or salamander earrings. Or maybe she had a style all her own - and the sense of confidence to go along with it.

Grounded Wildness will bring her back to the surface.

P.S. Yes, all those pics at the top of the blog are me 😊

Grounded Wildness is available for pre-sale starting in May 2023 and will be published Fall 2023.