How To Get GROUNDED Confidence

A few weeks ago I was challenged by some successful speakers to look at how I was messaging my business - and I realized I reacted COMPLETELY differently to their feedback than I would have in the past.

When I first started my business (and for most of my corporate career as well), I took almost every piece of feedback as verbatim truth, especially when it came from leaders and people I viewed as "experts."

Unless one of these experts suggested I do something that was directly against my values, I believed their gospel and whatever framework they laid out for "success" - and I tried to take action on it and conform to their advice.

This was the overachiever in me. Be better! Do it all! And do it all NOW!

This was true for everything from feedback I got in my corporate career that I could be too direct to all the things people told me I "had" to do in my business to be successful. I took it all in.

I was a serious questioner when it came to other information and parts of my life, but when it came to feedback on my style at work and in anything related to my business, I just assumed other people were right.

As you might imagine, there were some consequences to these reactions.

I learned to constrict my voice in my corporate career (and I got anxious and second-guessed myself when I DID share my voice directly).

I got exhausted and burned out in my business trying to do all the things, especially so many things that simply didn't feel good to me (I NEVER want to run a Facebook ad again!).

Then an interesting thing happened....I started to wake up to the overachieving hustling rules handed out by our culture - and I swung in the COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!

Instead of listening to every piece of feedback and taking in all the advice of experts, I started to rebel against it.

If someone even mentioned the word hustle, I ran in the other direction - even if they had other constructive things to say.

I avoided systems and structures recommended by other business owners - even when they might have been helpful.

And if anyone, anywhere said anything like "You just have to..." I stopped listening immediately. I tuned out the person, closed out the article, or turned off the podcast.

Looking back, I needed to go through this stage. I needed to listen to myself fully and trust that I could guide my own way.

At the same time, it's not particularly helpful to keep up this rebelling attitude forever. Clearly there are things I can learn from other people!

Now we come to a few weeks ago when I got challenged about how I was messaging my business.

This time around, I listened to what these successful people had done, even when the word hustle came up (which it did, multiple times).

Even when someone said "You just have to..." (which was also said, multiple times).

I listened. I took notes. I heard what they were saying.

And then I listened to myself.

I reflected on their feedback and teachings and asked myself, "What feels good to me? What do I want to try? Where do I want to incorporate what they said -- and what do I want to throw away?"

I challenged myself to think differently without losing myself in the process.

I didn't have to conform to everything they said - or rebel against everything they said either.

It felt amazing. Calm. Centered. Aligned.

I was operating with grounded confidence.

Grounded confidence isn't just confidence for the sake of confidence. It's not thinking you're fantastic at everything or never need to listen to feedback.

Instead, it's balanced. You're grounded in yourself. You know you have nothing to prove, so you can discern what advice and feedback is for you - and what's not.

You can take bold steps in your career knowing it's the right decision for you, whether that's going for the big promotion or leadership role -- or declining those opportunities, not because of doubt, but because you know now isn't the right season in your life for them.

You can speak up from a place of purpose, whether that's sharing a new idea, disagreeing with your manager, or challenging the way things are done.

You can set boundaries, even when it's uncomfortable, because you know they're necessary for your wellbeing.

Grounded confidence. It's a beautiful thing.

You'll see that I made some changes on my website to reflect this idea of grounded confidence and incorporate parts of the feedback I got. You'll also see other places on my website where nothing has changed.

It feels good and right and grounded.

👉 If you want to bring grounded confidence to the women in your organization, check out my website for more information on keynotes, workshops, and leadership development programs.

👉 If you as an individual want your own grounded confidence, read Grounded Wildness. It will guide you in that direction. Get signed copies on here (US only) or the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover on Amazon (audiobook and ebook available globally).

And, as always, stay wild 😊