The Best Career Advice I’ve Ever Gotten

I was early in my corporate journey when I got the some of the best advice of my career.

A senior leader I was working with turned to me and said:

"Heather, you have to know the rules of the game, but you don't have to play by them."

I've thought about that time and time again since I first heard it 16 years ago. I've even wondered if it led me to focus on all the rules we're handed and how to break them, which pervades my books, keynotes, and leadership development programs!

Which leads me to ask you....what rules of the game have you been handed that you don't have to play by?

What have you been told, directly or indirectly, about what makes you successful at work that you don't want to follow? Or maybe isn't even remotely true?

Here are a few that I've heard from women (and definitely not all are specific to women!)

👉 I have to be responsible. For everything, everywhere, all the time.

👉 I shouldn't upset people.

👉 I have to be available all the time.

👉 I should just be grateful for what I have and get on with it.

👉 I have to say yes to that extra project, task, request that I be the one to take notes in the meeting, etc.

👉 I can't disappoint anyone - my boss, mentor, colleagues, parents, anyone.

Do you see yourself in any of those rules?

If so, it's important to remember that these rules didn't start inside of you. They come from the feedback you've gotten, examples you've been handed, cultural messaging, and a million other experiences.

You also don't have to follow them the rest of your life.

It's worth asking yourself -- what rules do you want to keep following? And what rules do you want to let go?

Sure, there might be some consequences to breaking the rules.

But here's the thing - There are also SO MANY CONSEQUENCES when you keep following the rules forever, too.

SO MANY.

Burnout. The soul crushing feeling of not being heard. Resentment from having said yes to too many things.

The knowledge that you're following someone else's expectations instead of what you truly want for yourself.

Just to name a few.

There's no right or wrong answer here. I can't tell you which rules to break and which to keep following.

I ask you only to stop and consider the advice that I got so long ago - what rules of the game have you been handed? And do you want to keep playing by them?

This is the heart of the work I do, so if you want to dive deeper, here are two ways:

>>> As an individual, you can read either of my books, An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking The Rules or Grounded Wildness: Break Free from Performing Your Life and Start Living It. Both are available on my website (US only) and Amazon (globally).

>>> If you want to talk about this at work, my keynotes on Creating Your Own Rules For Success, Leading With Grounded Confidence, and Discover Your Authentic Voice uncover the rules so you can share your ideas, lead at all levels, and follow your own unique career path. Executive coaching and leadership development programs dive even deeper into these topics!

👉 Learn more here about speaking engagements, coaching, and leadership development.

And, as always, stay wild 😀