Three Ways To Reconnect To Yourself
So many things can take YOU away from YOU.
There's the busy chaos of your day-to-day life. The voices of OTHER people rattling around in your head telling you what to do. The lying, imposter syndrome-inducing inner critic. The rules passed down to you that said you have to take care of everyone, be responsible for everything, and never, ever disappoint anyone.
Any of that sound familiar?
I know it well, too. I wouldn't have ever said I was completely disconnected from myself. I never felt like I was putting a totally fake self out into the world. Not at all.
But I knew something missing. I had questions about where I wanted to take my career and life, but I didn't have answers. I never slowed down long enough to reconnect to myself and listen for those answers.
The past several years have been a journey back to me, first with letting go of the overachiever (that story is detailed in my book) and then more broadly in my life as a whole (more on that will be coming in my next book, in, like, 9-12 months 😊)
It has been a life-changing journey. Not a perfect one by any stretch of the imagination (I still catch myself saying yes too often!), but I experience an internal freedom I didn't know was possible a few years ago.
There isn't a single hack to reconnect to you. There's no magic bullet that will work overnight. But I wanted to give you three practices that have helped me immensely -- and that I continue to use all the time.
Give Yourself Space
This has, without a doubt, been the highest impact thing I've done to reconnect to myself. You need space to hear yourself think. To listen to your body. To feel your feelings. To pay attention to what your intuition and true inner voice are telling you.
Space also helps you to sort out what YOU really want vs what other people are saying you SHOULD want. It helps you discern between who you really are vs the rules you've been taught about what it means to be a "good" woman, employee, leader, mom, and contributing member of society.
For me, giving myself space looks like going for a solo hike, sitting on my patio in the sun, or laying on my floor for 10 minutes just letting myself be.
I know space is a precious commodity. I urge you to think about how you can create a bit more for yourself. Can you drive without the radio on, letting your mind wander? Can you give yourself a 20-minute lunch break to eat outside alone with your phone tucked away out of sight? Can you maybe even give yourself an entire afternoon to completely throw the to-do list out the window and follow what feels good?
I promise, it's possible.
No matter what it looks like for you, do yourself a favor and create a bit of space to be with yourself.
Write Your Way Back To Yourself
Journaling is a powerful tool to reconnect to your authentic self and hear your own knowing - and it doesn't have to take long! Writing for even 5 minutes can reveal powerful insights.
You can just sit down and write about whatever is coming up for you. I do that often.
But a little structure can help, too. Prompts like, "What would you do if you weren't worried about disappointing anyone?" and "If I'm really being honest with myself, I..." can connect you back to your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a compelling way.
This practice has been so helpful to me that I put together my ten favorite journaling prompts to reconnect you to you in a simple pdf!
Just pick a prompt from the list, set a timer for 5-10 minutes, and start writing! You'll be amazed at what comes out of you.
Click here to get the 10 journaling prompts to reconnect to your true self now!
Follow Your Knowing
You know that nudge you sometimes get? The nagging question that just won't go away? The feeling that something needs to change, even though you aren't sure what? The gut reaction that something is right, even though it doesn't totally make sense on paper? Or wrong, even though it's totally logical and "right"?
PAY ATTENTION TO THAT KNOWING!
This is your intuition, your true inner voice, your deep knowing, your spirit -- whatever you want to call it.
I like to think of it as "my knowing that just knows" because that's what it feels like to me.
For the most part, we've been trained AWAY from our own knowing. We've been conditioned to believe in logic above all else, to trust our head over our body, and do what makes sense on paper.
I'll tell you right now -- many of the best decisions in my life DID NOT make sense on paper. I left a stable corporate career to start a business. I stopped doing all the things the "experts" were saying I had to do to make that business successful and started doing what felt good and right to me. I stopped writing the book I had planned to write on getting the most out of development experiences at work and instead wrote a book that was decidedly NOT a business book. I left my community and business contacts in Minnesota and moved to Colorado.
Interestingly, though, over time those decisions DID make sense. I love being an entrepreneur. My business has grown a huge amount since I decided to do things my way. My book has connected with people on a deeply personal level - and helped me secure speaking engagements. Colorado feels like home.
The logic revealed itself over time, but it didn't start there. It started with getting curious and following the nudges of my own knowing.
I encourage you to do the same. If you aren't sure where to start, the next step will help you out.
These three practices work together -- you need space to listen to your knowing and journal. Journaling can lead you back to your own knowing. Listening to your knowing will often lead to creating more space for yourself. They all reinforce each other.
Pick a practice that feels good and get started!