If You’re Feeling A little Anxious Right Now…

I had planned to write a different blog today. But then something came up for me that I needed to share -- and I think you'll resonate with it as well.

It's about the anxiety of this moment -- and how it creeps up on me and sometimes smacks me right over the head out of nowhere.

Like Monday night.

I woke up in the middle of the night because the wind was so strong it shook my windows.

That sound alone is a little disconcerting, but on Monday night it filled me with dread about fire.

I laid in bed at 3:00am thinking about what I would take with me if I got a wildfire evacuation signal right then. Documents, photo albums, would I grab my jewelry box, take the time to gather my favorite clothes? This is what was running through my head instead of the sleep I desired.

I drifted in and out of restless sleep for the remainder of the night, stressful dreams I don't remember punctuating lying awake in my dark room.

When I woke up for real in the morning, I felt like a boulder was sitting in my stomach. Taking a deep breath required a conscious push against my diaphragm, which snapped back into place the second I exhaled, like a taunt trampoline beneath my lungs.

Then I listened to Up First as I got out of the shower, hearing about the atrocities being committed in Ukraine and food shortages in Sri Lanka.

Then I glanced at my personal email and a NY Times headline from a few days ago about preparing for the next wave of Covid caught my eye.

I also killed three spiders in my condo in the first hour I was awake, one of which was IN MY BED. Not a big deal, but also NOT HELPING.

The pit grew bigger. Deep breaths became even more challenging.

Even though my life is great -- I'm safe, healthy, have good relationships, business is going well -- I still felt the weight, the anxiety. I was holding it all in my body.

I have a feeling you might feel the same way -- maybe just occasionally, maybe every day.

I wanted to share what I did with this anxiety in case it is helpful to you.

First, I took a short walk outside, focusing on taking deep breaths all the way down to my lower belly. It helped a little.

Then I spent 5 minutes journaling to the prompt, "Right now I am feeling..." It also helped a little.

Then I turned on Florence and The Machine's Shake It Off and DANCED. I literally SHOOK it all out of my body. That helped a lot.

It didn't make the pit disappear entirely, but it made the feeling manageable. I was able to go into facilitating two women's small groups with a fairly clear head and decently relaxed body.

These are three practices you can use when that low-level anxiety comes calling to you as well. Moving your body, deep breathing, and expressing what you are feeling is always helpful, whether in a journal or talking to another person.

These practices don't change the outside circumstances, but they do change your inside circumstances.

These practices release and create space inside of you.

One more thing I'll add that I didn't consciously do yesterday morning, but is just as important -- treat yourself with compassion around whatever you are experiencing. There is no "should" when it comes to your emotions. Whatever you are feeling is just what you are feeling.

Even if others have it way worse than you. Even if you are healthy and safe and privileged in so many ways. You can be grateful for all that you have and feel anything else at the same time. It is all valid.

P.S. I always end messages about anxiety or any kind of big emotion with a reminder that if anything ever feels like too much, please reach out to a therapist or other professional. We all need additional support sometimes.