Letting Yourself Be Seen In The Messy Middle

I used to feel most of my big emotions in private. I'd cry on my own. Wallow solo with wine and ice cream and the Hallmark channel. Sob within the safe confines of my condo.

And THEN I'd talk to my friends or family. AFTER the messy middle. When I could constructively share my emotions without actually SHOWING them.

No more.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in this pandemic is the comfort that comes from letting yourself be seen in the messy middle.

Like, literally calling up a friend and sobbing on the phone so hard that my voice catches and I can barely get the words out.

Most of us don't think to reach out when we're in the middle of the messy middle. But it's so, so good.

I've learned the connection that comes from someone else witnessing my tears is healing. Having someone see all my messy human emotions is healing. Having someone validate that this hard and my feelings are normal is healing.

In short - it's healing to let yourself be seen in the mess of being human.

Yes - it is vulnerable to let yourself be seen in the mess. It can feel awkward to ask a friend to witness your tears and just be there for you.

It's also a gift. A gift you can give yourself to receive being seen in the messy middle. And a gift you can give to others to create space for their messy middle without trying to fix anything.

If you're anything like me, there's been a lot of messy middle in the past year. Emotions are SO CLOSE to the surface. I'm feeling things deeper and bigger and more often than I've ever felt them before.

It's okay. Let yourself feel.

And let yourself be seen in all of this messy humanness of life.