The Courage To GO IN and GROW THROUGH

I'm typing this sitting at my kitchen table, the wettest snow I've ever shoveled piling up outside. The wind is howling, shaking that heavy snow off tree branches, hopefully before they break from the weight.

The lights have flickered several times this morning. I turned up the heat to give myself a few extra degrees, just in case the power goes out.

I also just logged off the Sunday service for a Unitarian church I recently started attending. During that service, one of the ministers said a line that I immediately wrote down and knew I had to share. She said:

It's not about getting over, it's about growing through.

That hit me DEEP.

So often we just want to get over the hard things - and, let's be honest, sometimes other people just want us to get over them, too.

The messages are everywhere: Don't perseverate on the negative! Think positive! You have so much to be grateful for - focus on that!

The power of gratitude is real. And it also doesn't negate the other emotions you're feeling.

Sadness, grief, anger, disappointment, rejection, overwhelm -- they don't just disappear because you're grateful.

You don't change and evolve and become even more of yourself by shoving past your emotions and trying to get over things as fast as possible.

No.

To grow through, you have to GO IN.

It reminded me of a poem I wrote early in the pandemic. This was a time when it seemed like everyone else was perfecting their sourdough starters - and I was feeling everything more deeply than I'd ever felt it before.

Maybe you were too. Maybe the sourdough pics on Facebook were both a real joy - and a little bit of a show that everything was all right and you could still be productive and functional, even when the world was crashing into a pandemic.

I've shared this poem once before and it feels right to share it again today.

When you feel a crack inside of your soul,

Slow down, pry it open, dive into the hole.

Sink, swallow, and let your truth thrive,

THIS is where you are most alive.

Shed the layers that kept you from hearing your heart,

Take a moment and listen to your whole in the parts.

Find freedom in allowing your feelings to flow,

Nothing held back, you can let it all show.

Stay awake for the wonder, the chaos, the pain,

Stay awake for it all, let go of the shame.

See the light shining from deep in your soul,

Nothing to fix, you were already whole.

So when the going gets tough, let tough be your guide.

Dive into your depths, that’s where magic resides.

The title of this poem is Stay Awake.

That's exactly what it means to GO IN and GROW THROUGH.

You go into yourself and stay awake for the journey.

You grow by feeling everything you're feeling and getting curious about what it all means.

You grow by listening to the core of yourself, to your wisdom, to your true inner voice whispering to you, reminding you that you already have everything you need.

Reminding you that you already ARE everything you need.

Reminding you that you may feel broken at times, but you are whole. You are both complete and constantly growing. You are enough without having to do anything at all.

There's been a lot this year.

Instead of getting over it, pause.

Make the courageous decision to GO IN and GROW THROUGH.

I promise, you will come out the other side.