Giving Yourself Permission For Joy

On Sunday I put the finishing touches on my patio -- hanging twinkly lights. I've always loved patios that have lights - they look so cozy and inviting. And now I have one! That’s my patio in the photo above 😊

While I was hanging them, a neighbor stopped by and asked if I was having a party.

My response?

"No - just me!"

His question was a completely friendly inquiry with no bad intention.

And yet, the subtle hidden message behind that question is that I should only hang lights for other people. That somehow these joyful lights are only worth it if other people see them.

Now, I'm sure I'll have friends over for dinner or a cocktail and they WILL enjoy my twinkling lights.

But I put up those lights 100% for me. For my own joy. And that's it.

You get messages like this all the time too - some hidden in friendly questions and others WAY more direct.

They're especially buried in messages about "self-care."

The headlines tell you to sleep, run, do yoga, meditate, sign up for that painting class, or "indulge" in luxurious bath because taking care of yourself will help you be more productive or show up better for others.

That's true.

And you also get do any of these things for joy. And pleasure. And your health and wellbeing.

No other reason is needed.

So go ahead, buy yourself the beautiful bouquet of flowers. Get the good cheese and pour yourself a glass of wine and enjoy every single taste. Go on a slow walk and feel the warm summer breeze on your face. Read the delicious book where you won't learn a single thing.

Hang the gosh darn twinkling lights 😊

That is all.

If you want to dive deeper, check out my book, An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking the Rules: How To Let Go Of Perfect and Live Your Truth. There's an entire chapter on reclaiming your joy!