Are You Allowed To Say No At Work?

Several years ago I had a colleague who was GREAT at saying no.

He didn't say no EXACTLY - it was more like he had perfected the art of letting people know his plate was full and he couldn't take on any more work - without appearing at all like a slacker or bad team player.

You know how I felt about this?

JEALOUS.

I couldn't believe how he was able to confidently and casually say no ALL THE TIME.

I was constantly both volunteering and being volun-told to take on new work.

Partly because I really wanted to be involved (which still got me overcommitted and burned out at times) and partly because it was uncomfortable for me to say no - especially at work.

I know I'm not alone here.

Just in the last few weeks I've had several conversations with women at different events and books clubs reading my book about setting boundaries and saying no.

A lot of the discussions have focused on two big questions:

Are you even allowed to say no at work?

If so - HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?

First things first- I don't know your individual work or life situation. I don't know your culture, your boss, or the demands your clients are placing on you.

That's all true.

But here's another truth I believe with all my heart --Nearly ALL of us have greater freedom to say no and set boundaries than what it feels like.

Yes, it's super uncomfortable.

That's partly because our hustle-driven culture demands that you should always be taking on more.

And partly because women continually get the message you should be responsible for everything, take care of everyone, be likable, and - heaven forbid - NEVER disappoint anyone.

Those messages turn into beliefs about your worth -- and that can make it VERY uncomfortable to say no.

And you can also do uncomfortable things. You've done them before you can do them again.

Usually, once you do them, you realize it's okay. You didn't die. No one yelled at you. People might be surprised or even annoyed, especially if you're someone that has typically said yes to everything, but they get over it.

If saying no is downright terrifying for you, start by doing what I like to call, "Saying no without really saying no."

Delegate or redirect a request to another person. Give the requestor a pre-made resource instead of something customized. Negotiate due dates. Tell your boss, "I can do that if it's a priority, but that means something else is going to get pushed back. Let's discuss what that's going to be."

Next, use my 10 Scripts To Say No Without Apologizing. These are actual scripts you can use in emails and conversations with your boss, colleagues, or when someone reaches out for your time or wanting to “pick your brain” (there are a few in there for friends and family too!). Download it here now!

Will you get what you want 100% of the time? Nope. But I'm guessing you'll get what you want more often than you are now.

So experiment! Lean into the discomfort, find your courage, say no, and see what happens. Adjust as needed.

Your health, happiness, and sanity depend on it.

If you want more help saying no, watch my free video series, Three Steps To Recover From Burnout - And Stay That Way. The third step is all about how to set boundaries and say no!