Surrendering To What Feels Good

At some point this spring, I realized I needed to slow down more and work less. I wasn’t massively overworking or at a point of extreme burnout, but there was a deep knowing telling me to slow down. Do less. Give myself space. For an extended period of time.

And when that deep knowing speaks, I’ve learned it’s ALWAYS a good idea to listen.

I needed to recover from the last year and a half, from everything hard about this time and all the wonderful things, like moving and publishing my book. It all takes energy.

​​I needed space to incubate new thoughts and ideas for you and me and my next book (yes, another one will be coming at some point!)

I also wanted the time and energy to build relationships and community and have FUN exploring my new home. The mountains were calling and I needed to go 🙂

I decided I would give myself total permission to work less this summer. I blocked every Friday for hiking. Told myself I would meet all my commitments like I always have, but not do all the "extra" stuff that I usually put on my to-do list, like daily posting on LinkedIn (really, twice a week is probably enough all the time!).

Instead of waking up and automatically getting on my computer between 8:00 and 8:30, I made a plan to ask myself what I really needed and wanted to do that day -- and follow the response to the best of my ability.

I was completely and fully IN on all of this.

Then I started to slow down more and do less.

And it was WEIRD.

These rules showed up inside of me saying that I should be doing more. Pushing me to take advantage of this time and be productive. Telling me that it's 9:00am on a Tuesday and that's the time for work - and I better get to it!

There were tinges of guilt. More than a few moments of discomfort.

It was surprising and annoying and I wanted to fight against these rules I didn't consciously believe, but were showing up and giving me a talking to anyway.

Then, on the morning of June 24, I had a realization while journaling on my patio that changed everything:

Instead of fighting, I needed to surrender.

Instead of rising up against should and obligation and supposed to, I needed to lean into to what felt good. To pleasure and slowness and what my spirit desired.

There was immediate relief when I had this realization. I felt a weight lift. My shoulders dropped. I sunk into my chair, looked up from my journal out at the courtyard in front of my patio, and took a breath.

Because how much easier is it to think of surrendering to instead of fighting against?

It's softer. Like swimming with the current instead of kicking as hard as you can to try and make it upstream.

Less effort is required instead of more.

It's just EASIER.

And it's been easier ever since having this realization. Just having the realization made most of the shoulds and supposed-to’s disappear.

When they do show up, I don't fight against them. Instead, I ask myself what would feel good and do that.

It's been life changing.

I'm more relaxed, more in my body, and more present.

Ideas are flowing all over the place for blogs and webinars and my next book and things to bring you at later time.

My body, mind, and spirit all feel calmer and more engaged.

I plan to keep this approach even as I work more in the fall. I plan to keep it forever.

Maybe this all makes sense to you. Maybe it sounds a little out there. Maybe you're wondering WHAT you actually surrender TO. If that's the case, here's a list that flowed out of me the same morning of the realization:

Surrender to spirit.
Surrender to wonder.
Surrender to pleasure.
Surrender to play.
Surrender to slowness.
Surrender to ALL my feelings.
Surrender to my body.
Surrender to what is.
Surrender to the feel of the air on my skin and the wind in my hair.
Surrender to joy.
Surrender to aliveness.
Surrender to desire.
Surrender to unbridled creativity.
Surrender to music and rhythm.
Surrender to curiosity.
Surrender to the unknown.
Surrender to love.
Surrender to freedom.

Just reading this list makes me feel good!

If these are too conceptual and unstructured for you, simply stop and ask yourself what would feel good in the moment your “should” appears - and then do that thing if at all possible.

And, yes, sometimes things do just have to get done. I spent three hours on my finances last week. I didn't hate it and in many ways it DID feel good to get things squared away and in order -- but I wouldn't say my spirit was desiring to sit down and think about my June expenses or opening a solo 401K.

A lot of the time, though, the "should" you're feeling is just a rule you don't have to follow. It's a message you've gotten that doesn't actually serve you.

When that happens, instead of fighting the rule, take a breath, let it go, and surrender to what feels good.

If you’re also feeling burned out, check out my free video series, The Three Steps To Recover From Burnout - And Stay That Way. You get actionable steps you can use immediately to feel good and create lasting change.