What to do when your soul is appalled

What to do when your soul is appalled

I recently listened to Elizabeth Gilbert and Rob Bell interview each other at a live New Year’s event that they posted to Rob Bell’s podcast, The RobCast. In the middle of the interview Liz (I’ve seen her live twice, so clearly we’re on a casual first name basis 🙂) brought up what happens when your soul is appalled. And when you’re in this situation, she said, you don’t have to know exactly the path you’re supposed to be on. You only have to know enough to say, “NOT THIS”.

NOT THIS to the job that is sucking your soul dry.

NOT THIS to the schedule that is leaving you exhausted.

NOT THIS to the “friend” that takes way more than she ever gives.

NOT THIS to holding yourself to such high standards that it’s only a matter of time before you break.

NOT THIS to nodding your head silently and putting on a happy face while you’re screaming on the inside.

Elizabeth Gilbert Quote

Before I started my business I worked for many years in HR and leadership development for large companies. In late 2016 I found out we were going to restructure our team and shuffle around responsibilities. I let my wishes be known that I loved my work in women’s leadership development and was interested in doing more work in talent management.

On the morning of February 10, 2017 – my birthday – I found out that 75% of my job was going to be performance management. Something I never had any interest in. There was an immediate lurch in my stomach. I almost started to cry in my boss’s office, but I held back tears and said it would be fine. But I knew it wasn’t fine. My entire being was screaming NOT THIS.

My soul was appalled. There was nothing “wrong” with the job, but it just wasn’t right for me. I didn’t know the next step in my career but I knew it was NOT THIS. I immediately starting exploring and considering different possibilities. Get a different corporate job? Talk to my boss to let her know I couldn’t stay in this job very long? Or take the big leap and start my own business?

Over the next 5 months of exploring I landed on becoming an entrepreneur. It was exciting and terrifying and completely overwhelming, but my soul knew it was the right decision. Instead of NOT THIS, my soul gently kept saying, THIS, THIS, THIS (click here to get an exercise that can help you get back in touch with what your soul and inner voice are saying to you).

I had no idea where my path would lead that day in my boss’s office when I found out my job was going to change. I only knew that my soul was appalled and screaming NOT THIS.

Is your soul roaring NOT THIS to any part of your life? Comment of send me a message to let me know what’s happening for you.

Heather Whelpley is a coach and speaker that works with high achieving women that want to stop overwhelm and get back their joy while still having a successful career. Click here to learn more about coaching.

The ONE question to ask yourself to know if it’s time for change

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Are you ready for the easiest way to know if it’s time to make a change? It’s a single question and will only take you 5 seconds to answer. Here it is…

Take a deep breath and fast forward one year into the future. You’ve continued on the exact path you’re on today.  You’re in the same job, same pace of life, relationships functioning in the same way. How does that make you feel?

Be honest. What was your immediate response?

If your answer was “I’d feel awesome!” or “Great! I’d be happy to keep going down the same road I’m on now!” then you’re probably good. Of course, we always can (and should!) continue to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone and develop, but your general trajectory is likely solid. And that’s awesome!

But if your immediate response was feeling sad, stuck, overwhelmed, anxious, or even angry, then it’s a sign you need to make a change.

Tell me, what was most frustrating when you pictured yourself on the same path one year in the future? Was it your job? The crazy hustling you’re doing to get everything done each day yet still feeling behind? A relationship? Continuing to be tired – not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

Or was it everything all together?

Take some time to explore what came up for you. Often the first thing that comes to mind is only part of the picture. Dig deeper. Re-evaluate what is really most important to you. Start taking action to change.

If you’d like help figuring out what changes need to happen and taking action to make those changes a reality, I would love to talk to you. You can schedule a free coaching consultation HERE.

You deserve to lead a life you love. You deserve to be fulfilled. You deserve to look a year into the future and be EXCITED. 

 

Heather Whelpley is a coach and speaker that works with women to stop the hustle so they can reclaim their life and focus on what’s really important. Click here to learn more about coaching.

What To Do When You Feel Guilty For Wanting To Leave Your Job

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You have a good job. Decent salary. 401K match. Benefits. Stable company. You’re even working in the field you wanted.

There’s just one problem.

You don’t like your job.

And you feel GUILTY for even entertaining the idea of a change.

You have ALL the thoughts…

  • I have what I wanted – shouldn’t I be happy?
  • Other people would kill for this job and all the great things I have in my life – why can’t I just enjoy it?
  • What is everyone going to think if I leave? Will they be mad?
  • Why can’t I just be grateful?

Here’s the little secret….

This isn’t an either/or situation.

You can be GRATEFUL and want CHANGE at the same time.

Wanting something different doesn’t mean you’re greedy.

Leaving your company doesn’t mean you aren’t loyal.

Changing jobs or entire careers doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for everything that has brought you to this point.

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When your inner voice nudges you in a new direction, you NEED to explore it. Even if you aren’t sure what’s next. Even if you don’t know where the new direction might lead.

It’s time to stop feeling guilty for knowing you’re meant for something different.

Be grateful – and start changing.

 

Heather Whelpley is a coach and speaker that works with women to stop the hustle and reclaim their joy. Click HERE to join Heather’s mailing list and receive a free copy of Five Ways To Quiet The Inner Critic.

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

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I was recently discussing career and life change with a women’s group I facilitate. Questions and concerns were coming up, like:

  • How do you know the right thing to do?
  • What’s the best next job for me?
  • How do you know if the company is a good fit?

In the midst of all these questions, one of our group members offered the answer:

You have to build your own lighthouse and let that guide you. 

It’s great to ask questions. To get insights from people that have been in careers you’re interested in pursuing. Individuals that have done the thing you’re pondering, whether it’s starting a business, writing a book, or taking six months off to travel the world.

But even the best, most experienced, most well-intentioned people can’t give you the answer.

Only you can do that.

You have to build you own lighthouse and let that guide you towards the answers.

So how do you build that lighthouse exactly?

You have to know what’s most important to YOU. Not to your friends or parents or any cultural expectations – to YOU. What do you value most? What really makes you FULFILLED? When do you feel like you’re contributing and operating at a higher level of yourself? Where are you being called?

For some of you, this might be easy. You’ve already done the self-exploration work needed to answer these questions. You have the forest cleared, the plans drawn out, and you can start building your lighthouse now.

For many you, the plans for the lighthouse are blurred. They are clouded by the inner critic, the expectations you’ve put on yourself over the years, ego, family and cultural expectations.

So you have to clear the forest before building. You need to understand the blockages clouding your internal lighthouse. You need to get quiet and reconnect with your true inner voice.

Then you draw the plans and break ground. The lighthouse you build will be the internal guide pointing you towards your authentic path.

Let’s start clearing.

P.S. Writing is a wonderful way to get reconnected to your true inner voice and see your lighthouse. Click HERE for a journaling exercise to help you do just that.